Food for Thought: Say What You Need to Say

The Importance of Communication

I started the once a week series of Food for Thought because I wanted to post about something other than what I am wearing, doing, or wanting to buy. We will publish these posts that cover something one of the sisters has been reading or thinking about with the hope that they give you something to think about as well.  

Today's Food For Thought: 

Yesterday, I had an epiphany. Perhaps it is one I should’ve had before, but I realize how important my tone of voice and my word choice is. I know that somewhere in the logical part of my brain, I knew that what is you say is equally important to how you say it, but that thought had just not been consistently translated into action. Mostly in the event that someone asked me to do something that I did not want to do, but I felt I should do. My slow response of “Suuuureee” to the “Will you do _________?” intentionally communicated that yes, while I will do what you ask, I will not like it.

I was essentially letting my tone communicate what I did not have the courage or integrity to communicate with words. From now, I will answer “Sure” in a way that communicates that I am fully on board, or I will answer, “I would rather not because __________.” It is important for us to have the courage to say what we need to say. (Just like this John Mayer song.)

In addition to saying what we need to say, I also believe that using the appropriate words is important. I have always thought this. That is why I could not jump on the “epic” train. When people call something “epic” when they really mean it is “cool” or “different” bugs me. As C.S. Lewis says,

“Don’t use words too big for the subject. Don’t say “infinitely” when you mean “very”; otherwise you will have no words left when you want to talk about something really infinite.”

And lastly, I would be remiss if I did not mention this scripture when discussing communication—Ephesians 4:29, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” My wise, kind mother repeated this verse often to her daughters when trying to teach us how to speak to one another.

Thoughts on communication in summary:

•        Have the courage and integrity to speak the truth.
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•        Your tone of voice matters.
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•        Correct word choice is important. (On that note, I do not like it when people curse, but it bothers me even more when people use curse words ungrammatically. F*** does not punctuate sentences and S*** really means poop.)
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•        Speak in a way that benefits the listener.

I am sure that I will be reminding myself of all of these pointers when I get married. Communication is vitally important to any relationship and its importance is highlighted when you live with that person. And then when you throw in the fact that Jon and I think really differently and therefore communicate differently, well things are bound to get really interesting.

So dear readers, do you have any thoughts or pointers on communicating with your significant other? We'd love to hear them!

xo, The Attic

Ps.  This post is not about lemons, or making lemonade when life gives you lemons... or anything of that nature. I just the lemon picture was lovely, (and hey, it's food!) so I thought I'd share it. The picture is from the vineyard we stayed on in Umbertide, Italy. There was luscious fruit and flora everywhere; I would love to return. So much so, that I would consider being an indentured servant to the family that lives there, just so I could stay there again.