Post Grad Syndrome

Post Grad Syndrome: (\ˈpōst\grăd/ˈsinˌdrōm/) n. - dealing with life when you no longer have a plan, or when your first 15 plans do not work out.

During our college years, me and my roommates spent many hours lounging on our kitchen counters discussing our futures. Why counters instead of couches? I'm not sure, but it seems that breaking bread together leads to good conversation. We would talk about our dream jobs, our future husbands, where we would live… all with the assurance and certainty that if we worked hard, and had a plan, we would be able to live the lives we wanted.

Flash forward on to Plan A, B, C, and... well, luckily there are 26 letters in the alphabet.  

Six months post-graduating 3 of the 4 of us did not have jobs, much less our dream jobs. We had internships, although, none of them were in the fields we wanted or paid enough for us to be financially independent. I know this is not unusual during this time in our country, and lest you think this essay is one long, cleverly written complaint, rest assured, it is not.

It is instead, a paradigm shift. We had to shift our ideas about the results of hard work, the measurement of success, and the process of turning dreams into realities.

I know that we are not alone. Many adults of our generation have had to do this.

A month ago I went to lunch with a friend and made a joke about how sometimes I feel like I am pretending to be an adult. I am in my twenties, yet I live with my parents and get paid by the hour. She instantly corrected me. She told me, “You are an adult. You are a successful adult. You are not defined by what job you have, where you live or your marital status.” I almost cried. In the middle of Taco Mayo. I needed someone to remind me that I am not defined by my occupation. But admittedly, even with her reminder, it is still hard for me to internalize that fact. Part of the reason that we as a society feel like we are defined by our jobs, is because “what do you do” is one of the first questions people ask. People don’t ask that because they necessarily base their value of you off of your occupation, most people ask because they are genuinely curious. Sometimes I have to remind myself of this.

If we do not define people by their occupations, how should we define them? I believe that people should be defined by how they interact with others. Are we generous? Do we treat others with respect and kindness? Do our words encourage or belittle? When people are with us, do they feel like the best version of themselves? If we are constantly speaking in ways that encourage the hearer (Ephesians 4:29) and if we always love others the way we love ourselves, I think we are successful adults, whether we are bankers, retailers, pastors, or painters. I also believe that loving people in this way, helps us accomplish our dreams. I don’t think that because we shouldn’t be defined by our careers, they don’t matter. We should work hard and go after our dreams; I just don’t think they should define us.

This is not a 3-steps-to-getting-your-resume-noticed article or a land-your-dream-job advice column, but rather a call to re-think how we define others and ourselves. Think about it this way—people won’t talk about your 8-5 at your funeral, they’ll talk about the impact you made on their lives. 

So fellow post-graduate adults—what impact are you making?  

We'd love to hear from you! 

xo, The Attic